In our pursuit for personal growth and improvement, we are actually seeking what we already possess.
Wise teachers remind us that the personal growth and transformation we long for doesn’t come by addition (trying harder to live up to expectations, taking on new goals, etc.) but by subtraction—relaxing our type structure and allowing our true essence to emerge.
When we can let go of our Enneagram type’s obsessions and habits, we discover that the qualities or state of being we’ve been striving so hard to attain has been there all along.
In fact, our striving often gets in the way of what we want. Striving gets us trapped by our Ennea-type. We end up creating more of what we say we don’t want.
With that in mind, here are some meditation/contemplation questions for each Enneagram type:
Type 1: Ones believe to be loved, to belong and to be safe they must be good. Ones constantly strive to improve themselves and their surroundings until everything is just right. Nothing short of perfection will satisfy. This drive activates their inner critic. “You could do better. You should have known better. You shouldn’t be this way; step it up.” Since no one, not even Ones, can attain perfection, the inner critic is never satisfied. And since the world is full of imperfections, Ones find themselves angry, frustrated and resentful. The harder they work at getting it right and fixing what’s wrong, the more they fixate on what is wrong. Ones lose sight of their essence of inherent goodness.
Ones will find it useful to meditate and contemplate on the following questions: What if I already possess the goodness I have been striving for? What if I am already good enough—right now, just as I am? What if I am loved and loveable just as I am? What if I don’t have to improve myself? What if the perceived imperfections in the world actually add to the mosaic of the beautiful perfection of imperfection? What good exists in the world even while there is pain, brokenness and wrongs? What if it isn’t mine to fix everything that seems to be wrong?
Type 2: Twos believe to be loved, to belong and to be safe they must tend to others’ emotional and physical needs. Deep down, Twos don’t believe they are important enough to have their own needs met. Therefore, Twos set their radar on others’ feelings and needs, and are quick to respond accordingly. This is the Two’s strategy to find validation, connection and belonging. Twos diminish their own needs, sometimes even denying they have needs. Twos work tirelessly, often giving more they can afford to give—their resources of time, emotional support, finances and material goods. Twos sometimes position themselves to be so needed that others can never afford to leave them. All this leaves Twos exhausted, depleted and resentful. Twos lose sight of their essence of belonging in a generous Universe filled with Divine resources. There is enough to go around; where Twos can embrace their value and freely give and receive.
Twos find it useful to meditate and contemplate on the following questions: What if I am loved and lovable for who I am, not what I can do for other people? What if I already belong? What if I am valuable enough to have needs? What if my needs are legitimate? What if I don’t have to meet everyone else’s needs? What if I can say “no” and trust that needs will be met without my service and contribution? Who am I if others don’t need me? What would it be like to ask for help? What would it be like to acknowledge that I am tired?
Type 3: Threes believe to be loved, belong and be safe they must achieve, produce and perform in ways that meets others’ expectations and standards. Threes scan their environment to determine what will impress, succeed and accomplish desired outcomes and adapt to perform accordingly. Threes are confident and goal-driven. They are the “little engine that could” and are eager to produce. They value efficiency and staying busy. This leads Threes to become human “doers,” rather than human “beings.” Threes fall into the trap of becoming chameleons, going on auto-pilot to shape-shift to meet their audience’s expectations. Threes drive themselves in an effort to avoid failure. Threes often bury their own feelings in favor of efficiency. They may forfeit their own identity and lose awareness of their interior emotional field in favor of efficiency, productivity and accomplishment. Unaware Threes can climb the ladder only to discover the ladder was leaning against the wrong building. Threes lose sight of their essence of belonging to a Divine Universe where creative forces have operated for all eternity; therefore, creation operates on its own design and is not dependent upon any one individual. Threes therefore have inherent value, not merely transactional value.
Threes find it useful to meditate and contemplate on the following questions: What if my value rooted in who I am, not what I can do or accomplish? What if I am a human being rather than a human doing? What am I feeling in this moment? Am I doing what I love and dream of doing, or am I doing what I think others expect of me? What if I don’t have to be the best in the room? What if life is not a competition? What would it be like to sit quietly in stillness and know that I am just as loved and valuable in those moments as when I am accomplishing a tangible, measurable goal? What is the difference between being fruitful and being productive?
We will explore meditation/contemplation questions for Types 4, 5 & 6 in our next blog.
Comments