Transformation is not becoming someone different.
Transformation discovering and remembering who we truly are.
The problematic patterns of our lives—our dysfunctions and self-defeating habits—are a distortion of who we are created to be. They are not our true self.
Growth and transformation are all about getting into contact with our essence. The process consists of making space for and releasing ourselves to be authentic expressions of our true self.
The Enneagram provides us insight into both sides of the scale. It uncovers our essence, our true self. The Enneagram also illuminates our false self, our Enneagram Patterns we adopt when we forget who we really. These are structures we create in order to survive in our world.
Each Enneagram Type, or Pattern, has its specific system of compensation that masks our essence. Our Type, in fact, is actually a false self. The work of the Enneagram is to reclaim express our true self in how we think, feel and behave.
We continue our exploration of meditation/contemplation questions to guide us in our pursuit of transformation. This installment looks at Types 4, 5 and 6.
Type 4: Fours believe that to be loved, to belong and to be safe they must standout, be different than everyone else, and to be understood. Fours have an ongoing sense and belief that they are fatally flawed, “Everyone else got the memo on how to have a full, meaningful, rich and happy life except me.” Fours live with a sense they are lacking something essential that would make them valuable and desirable, and that something is outside of themselves. As a result, Fours perpetually search for the missing piece. It’s said that Fours see the best of what is missing and the worst of what is present.
Fours find it useful to meditate and contemplate on the following questions: What if I am enough? What if I am already loved? What if I am already special? What if I belong? What if I am complete, that there is nothing essential missing in my being? Can I accept the reality that I am uniquely special, just as everyone else is? Can I let go of my belief that that I’m a misfit? How do I hold onto and leverage the beliefs that I am uniquely flawed, that I am misunderstood, and what is meaningful is “out there” and separate from my essence?
Type 5: Fives believe that to be loved, to belong and to be safe they must be gain and conserve the resources needed to meet the demands of life. Fives fear the world demands more of them than they can match. They believe this requires they be knowledgeable, that knowledge ensures they will be competent and adequately prepared. Fives conserve their mental and emotional resources by withdrawing and maintaining a safe vantage point of being an observer of life rather than an active participant in it. Fives stay in their heads, analyzing and calculating, often substituting thinking for involvement. They often find themselves stuck in paralysis by analysis.
Fives find it useful to meditate and contemplate on the following questions: What if I already enough? What if I inherently possess the resources needed to meet the demands of life in this world? What if I can trust that the universe possesses all the wisdom necessary to sustain life and this wisdom will be revealed to me when I need it? What if there are plenty of intellectual and emotional resources available for everyone, including me, without my having to manufacture them? What if there is essential wisdom to be found in emotional and physical engagement, beyond my intellectual pursuits? What if my withdrawal and isolation rob me from resources I need?
Type 6: Sixes believe that to be loved, to belong and to be safe they must be prepared for every potential, real or imagined, setback and catastrophe. Sixes imagine worst-case scenarios and their minds are constantly creating plans to circumvent or rectify the problems. Their demand for certainty, security and safety hijacks their thinking, creating an inner committee that is constantly troubleshooting to meet the need. Most Sixes experience the fight or flight response to their fears, while some take an aggressive response by attacking (fight response) their fears, believing the best defense is a good offense. Sixes believe their safety and certainty come from belonging to the right group, following a strong leader, or adhering to an ideology that promises protection security to those who belong. In this, Sixes doubt their own agency and often find themselves stuck, paralyzed by their fears.
Sixes find it useful to meditate and contemplate on the following questions: What if I trusted my own agency—what would change? How would this empower me? What if I changed my perpetual focus on fear and worry to faith and trust? What if my essence is certainty, not uncertainty? What if my essence is strength, not weakness? What if my essence is love, and that love is the safest place to reside? What if I focused on the truth that love casts out fear? What if I changed my working definition of courage from, “Courage is the absence of fear,” to “Courage is taking the right action, even if I am afraid, trusting that my essence, my true self, is more true than my fear and worry?”
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