“We cannot heal what we do not acknowledge.” Richard Rohr
“Waking up is hard to do.”
In this blog post, we continue identifying the blind spots of each Enneagram Type.
Awareness of our blind spots is crucial for our growth because it’s so easy to slip back into old, unproductive and self-defeating habits.
We often do so without realizing we are resorting to those patterns.
Habitual patterns are second nature to us. We are so familiar with them, we are unaware of their presence and impact.
It’s as if we are blind to them.
Seeing and naming our blind spots empowers us to recognize our propensity to fall back into old habits. Once we see and name, we can pause the reactive process and choose more effective responses.
In this blog, we focus on the Heart Center of the Enneagram: Types 2, 3 and 4.
Type 2. Enneagram Twos long for connection. Like all of us, Twos need to know they are loved, that they belong and that they have value. To gain this, Twos believe they must be helpful, supportive and caring. Twos’ emotional radar is always on, picking up on others’ needs and what their emotional states. Twos then rush in to meet those needs and connect emotionally. This focus stems from the belief that their own needs are not valid. Twos are often blind to knowing they have their own needs. Their awareness of others’ needs and their willingness to help earns the Twos’ reputation of being generous, useful, supportive and positive. However, this drive entails a shadow side. Twos helpfulness can be manipulative. Twos can position themselves to be indispensable as a way to ensure a sense of belonging. Twos can believe they know what others need even more than others themselves know. And, Twos can deceive themselves in believing they have no needs. Another blind spot is the symbiotic relationships that Twos create: "I need you to need me. I don’t know who I am if I am not needed.” Finally, Twos can be blind to their anger when others fail to reciprocate and return efforts to help and offer care.
Type 3. Enneagram Threes are driven to produce, perform, achieve and accomplish. Behind this drive is the belief system that one’s value is measured by action, accomplishments, achievements and success. Threes scan their world to gain a read on what is expected and what will impress. They then adapt and produce the desired product. Threes’ adaptability, energy and efficiency allow them to be productive and well accomplished. They make strong and impressive impressions on others. Threes are often successful in many areas of life. Their drive for productivity and efficiency can blind Threes to their emotional needs. Threes ignore feelings because knowing feelings doesn’t serve practical purposes of accomplishing the task at hand. Threes’ motivation to impress can cause them to shape shift and take on a chameleon-like persona. Threes can be blind to their tendency to rush ahead of others in the name of efficiency and productivity. Threes are prone to deceiving themselves by living for others’ approval and accolades rather than being in tune with their own values and priorities. Unaware Threes become human “doers” rather than human “beings.”
Type 4. Enneagram Fours dive deep into their feelings and are driven to give authentic expression of what they feel. Fours believe they must be unique, otherwise they won’t stand out and be noticed and won’t belong. This is how Fours compensate for their gnawing sense of being deficient and not belonging. Fours’ drive to be special pushes them to be their own brand. Fours are self-reflective, driven to know the depths of their feelings and finding meaning to life experiences. While this belief system empowers Fours to be expressive and artistic, it also limits them. Fours can be blind to becoming self-absorbed, judging experiences and relationships on the basis of their own feelings. This can cause Fours to hijack conversations, bringing the focus on themselves and their feelings. Fours can be blind to their envy and how they assume others have it better, are happier and possess the keys to success, while they are stuck with their fatal flaw of not being enough. Unaware Fours expect others to follow them into the holes of melancholy. They can be perpetually disappointed in life for not measuring up to their fantasized ideals. Finally, and ironically, Fours are often blind to their incredible talents and skills. They focus more on what they don't have than what they possess.
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